maxterbate: maxterbate: Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr? Free chocolate milk for everyone i have just been informed on this
zacharydupuis: grandma why don’t you knit me a cute relationship instead
conor-cymex: mydogsnokes: i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days diamond the word you’re looking for is diamond
internetexplorers: if a boy calls you “Hot” he’s looking at your body me if he calls you “Pretty” he’s looking at your face me if he says “You’re beautiful” he’s looking at your soul me
diverged: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months
hownowbrownseacow: rosiebeck: nxv: primisthebomb: I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid I threw a grape in the air I...
cantankerouscrab: hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
exit the womb they said life will be great they said
mebeingweird: bondoge: do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what and then u repeat the song but then it happens again
jewbeard: i tried to grab fog but i mist
osamah: *opens up trenchcoat* hey kid…wanna buy a sense of humor?
longlivesherlock: whorville: whorville: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The C I FUCKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
mistercoventry: “Oh, you’re straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot. ;)” Are you suggesting we boil heterosexuals
if i had a dollar for every time u annoyed me
my english teacher: your essay isn't very well put together
me: my thoughts are stars i cannot fathom into constellations
fffcuk: what doesn’t kill you fucks you up mentally and affects your ability to have stable relationships with other human beings
petparent: Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack
jumbaco: if you didnt have an avril lavigne phase youre a liar
Reblog if you think boys can be sexually harassed...
the-warblers-arerockstars: I’m trying to prove a point to my mom.
whtev-r: OKAY IM DOING A SCHOOL PROJECT ON GAY MARRIAGE AND I HAVE TO USE STATISTICS SO REBLOG IF YOU SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE AND LIKE IF YOU DONT
wurnbo: did i allow u to have fun without me
mattfoundglory: the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth
fuckheaded: Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick